Tuesday 14 August 2012

Doesn't look like much

That's what the doctor told me on Monday when I took myself and my red throat to his office. Another culture was taken, another list of blood tests was checked off.

I didn't bother with the tests, and the culture came back negative for strep and whatever else it is they checked it for. Look, I'm busy. I don't have time to be schlepping around to doctor's offices and labs. I certainly don't have time to deal with condescending doctors. I have a career to manage, I have a course to pass, I have a household to run. Groceries need to be purchased, bills need to be paid, meals need to be prepared, dishes need to be scrubbed, clothes need to be washed, floors need to be swept, cats need to be taken care of. I have a database to build and volunteers who need coordinating and a column to write at some point in the future.

So on Tuesday, I went to work, sore throat and all. New clients must have thought I was there on a community-living placement. I sounded like Kramer, on that episode of Seinfeld where he gets to go to the benefit dinner with Mel Torme because Torme thinks he's, uh, "challenged", but really his mouth is full of Novocaine. "Pwease compweat this fowm," I said to a new employee who wanted to borrow some books from the "libwawy". My voicemail message that day was hi-larious: "Hewwo, 'ou have weached Jen'fer Boorns, Infowmation Shpecialist at..."

Wednesday, throat still sore, although less sore. Thursday, less sore. Friday, less sore. Saturday, almost gone...but still sore. Oh, and I stayed late every night - to catch up in my course. Fun fun fun!

No running, swimming or any strenuous exercise, no alcohol, no citrus (it irritates my throat), soft foods, soup...oh, yeah, it's been a swell time. Throw in a couple of snowstorms and a two-hour commute home three days in a row (complete with 20 minute wait in the bitter cold for a bus that's supposed to come every three minutes) - and you may as well just put a lampshade on your head and call it a party.

I need a vacation. From my life.

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